A Pop Tart Deprived Thunder god
by CaptainOfAsgard
Summary: When Tony walked into the kitchen in the morning he never expected to see a buck ass nude thunder god rummaging through his cabinets looking for pop tarts.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok so Post U Later gave me an amazing idea for The Weakness for and intervention for Thor but I couldn't figure out how to fit coffee into it so I decided to make a oneshot out of it.**

When Tony walked into the kitchen in the morning he never expected to see a buck ass nude thunder god rummaging through his cabinets looking for pop tarts.

"Thor what the hell are you doing?" Tony screeched throwing his hands over his eyes.

"What is it friend Stark?" Thor asked turning around to see Tony frantically trying to cover his eyes.

"Put some pants on Thor! I haven't had my coffee yet I'm not ready for this!"

"Friend Stark would you happen to have any pop of tarts?"

"What?"

"Pop of tarts, the delicious jelly filled pastries that come in various flavors. Do you have any?" Thor asked his eyes wide with delight.

"If you promise to wear clothes in my tower and out in public I will buy a lifetime supply." Tony stated hands still covering his eyes, trying to maneuver his way to the coffee machine without looking.

"Yes I will wear these very restricting items of cloth!" Thor said raising Miojnir in the air. Thor raced out of the room, running into Clint's room. A few minutes later there was a girlish scream Thor raced out of the room some of Clint's clothes streaming behind him.

"Sorry Hawk man but I need these items of cloth to get the pop of tarts!" Thor yelled running into his room. Clint appeared out of his room trembling in fear.

"Clint you alright man?" tony asked moving towards the trembling archer.

"Tony I just saw Thor naked." Clint whispered before dropping to the floor. Tony raced to catch him and pulled him to his feet.

"Clint man, pull it together! Just sit down." Tony shuffled Clint over to the couch and plopped him down.

"Tony it was just there, I woke up and it was there!" Clint screeched shaking Tony's shoulders.

"Ok Clint you're kind of annoying me and I'm real sorry but..." Tony hit Clint in the face knocking him unconscious. "Shit now I have to get pop tarts. JARVIS order a lifetime supply of pop tarts."

"Of course sir."

"And put them on rush order." Thor walked into the room with pop tarts stuffed in his mouth and jeans that looked like shorts, and a too small T shirt.

"Friend Stark where are the delicious pastries you promised me?"

"Hang tight, I just put them on rush order." Tony stated patting Thor's shoulder.

/\/\/\/

"Sir it appears that the pop tarts you requested are here." JARVIS stated. Thor rushed to the door.

"Yes come to me my delicious pastries!" Thor yelled flinging open the door to see a frightened delivery man.

"Calm down point break." Tony said pushing the excited god out of the way. "Sorry about that, um just leave them in the driveway." He said waving his hand dismissively.

"But there's a lot of boxes!" The man said waving his hands wildly.

"Fine! Steve get your spangly ass down here and help the delivery guy. Also Thor help him to." Tony said pushing the god forward, when Steve came from down the hallway.

"What's wrong Tony, I heard you yell?" Steve asked.

"You are helping Thor and the delivery guy unload the pop tarts." Tony stated crossing the room to sit on the couch.

"But Tony I was drawing something." Steve whined.

"Too bad spangles you are helping them, or you're sleeping on the couch for a month."

"Why don't you help!" Steve whined.

"Because I am feeling lazy today. Now go before I dump your ass." Steve sighed and followed Thor out the door.

/\/\/\

When all the boxes were finally unloaded it only took a few hours before Thor was finished with them all.

"Friend Stark can you order more pop tarts?" Thor asked waking a sleeping Tony. Tony was jerked awake to the booming voice of a god. He rubbed his hands over his face.

"Thor you just got a lifetime supply."

"Yes and I finished them." Tony groaned and fell back on the couch.

"Thor I'm tired, I haven't slept in weeks and were out of coffee, so please not today." Tony pleaded, closing his eyes.

"But friend Stark please I need more pop tarts!"

"That's it, JARVIS activate code Thor." There was a loud ringing before all the Avengers came rushing into the room clutching pieces of paper.

"I heard code Thor, what happened?" Natasha asked skidding to a stop in front of the semi-conscious Tony.

"Point break here wants more pop tarts." Tony said his voice muffled by the pillow he was laying facedown on.

"We just un packed a lifetime supply!" Steve yelled causing Tony to flinch.

"Steve please I am tired and want to sleep."

"Sorry Tony code Thor." Clint said handing Tony a slip of paper. He groaned and took the paper from Clint's out stretched hand, and pulled himself away from the couch.

"Thor," Natasha said "This is an intervention."

"We are here to tell you that you have a problem." Steve said. Everyone looked toward Tony ready to hear his part and face palmed when they saw him asleep, Steve nudged him and chuckled when he almost fell over.

"I didn't kill the puppy!" He yelled looking around frantically. "What? What happened?"

"You killed a puppy?" Clint asked frowning.

"What? No! I never killed a puppy."

"Alright on with the intervention," Steve said "And let's skip Tony."

"Thank you Steve." Tony said before trudging toward his room to sleep for a few days.

"Ok Thor you are her by banned from pop tarts for 3 months!" Natasha yelled before returning to her room.

"No my friends I need the pop tarts!" Thor yelled chasing Natasha down the hall.

"Well we'll see how this goes." Clint muttered before returning to the vents leaving Steve starring at the wall.

"Well I guess it's just me now." Steve sighed before going to his room.

**A/N: Ok so I saw Red Dawn and I was really mad they killed off Chris Hemsworth, so I now have the Thor feels hence this story. Now I could write another chapter about Thor's trouble but that's all up to you lovely people.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Ok this chapter idea is from BunBunBabe. Thanks, and enjoy the story!**

Thor was pacing the room, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

"Oh my god Thor stop pacing!" Tony yelled, slamming his magazine down on the table.

"Sorry friend Stark, but it is hard to resist the delicious pastries. It is like they are calling to me!"

"Been through that before," Tony muttered thinking back to the time the team tried to get him to stop drinking coffee.

"Then you will help me friend Stark? You know the pain and suffering one must go through." Thor asked stopping to stand in front of the genius.

"I don't know-" Tony was cut off when Bruce ran into the room, tasered him, and went back down the lab. Tony was on the ground withering in pain.

"Sorry…..big guy….not…allowed." He finally got put before spazing out on the ground.

"Friend Banner why?" Thor wailed before going back to pacing around Tony's limp form.

/\/\/

"Maybe that was a little un called for." Steve said watching Tony spaz out on the ground and Thor pacing.

"Hey Tony was about to give in, you told me to handle it I handled it." Bruce stated shrugging his shoulders before going back to experiment.

"But you didn't have to taze him!" Steve yelled.

"Steve may be right Banner but that was awesome!" Clint yelled causing Steve to flinch.

"He was about to give in." Natasha stated sitting in a chair while polishing one of her guns.

"That doesn't mean you taze him! You could have just hit him in the arm or dragged him out of the room!" Bruec shrugged before going back to his work. Steve sighed and turned to face the security camera they had hooked up to the living room.

/\/\/\/\

Thor continued his pacing while trying to come up with a plan. _Well no one can follow me besides the man of iron if I fly. So all I have to do is fly to get some more pop of tarts._

"Yes that is what I'll do!" Thor boomed before getting ready to continue out his plan.

/\/\/

"What's he doing," Natasha asked getting up from her chair to watch Thor stuff the limp Tony in a closet.

"Clint he's going to start flying, tail him!" Steve ordered as he watched Thor stuff his boyfriend in a closet and fly out the window. Clint pressed a button on the control panel and a door opened to reveal a jet pack.

"Why do you have a jet pack?" Bruce questioned looking up to see Clint strapping it on.

"That's classified." He stated before shooting up through the ceiling and after the pop tart deprived thunder god. Steve and Bruce looked toward Natasha for and explanation.

"Hey I didn't get one either." She stated before going back to her gun.

/\/\/\/

Clint sailed through the air after Thor, and watched as he started his decent towards the grocery store.

"Oh no you don't." He muttered before firing the laser cannon that was attached to the jet pack. The laser hit Thor in the back, caught off guard Thor fell to the ground in a heap.

"Hawk man I need the delicious pastries!" Thor whined, rising up from the ground.

"No can do, I have been ordered to stop you at all causes." Clint stated before pulling out black sunglasses and putting them on.

"The mighty Thor reduced to a mewling quim." A voice stated. There was a golden flash before Loki appeared in front of Clint and Thor. Clint pointed his laser, and electricity crackled around Thor.

"Stand down Loki." Clint stated.

"Oh relax I just wanted to see my brother." Loki stated before turning towards Thor. "How is it you have been reduced to begging to this human?" Loki asked his eyes portraying disgust.

"But brother the hawk man holds the key to delicious pastries." Thor whined the electricity dying away.

"You must be so pathetic to waste your time on such petty food products."

Clint sighed at the debate and grabbed a package of pop tarts out of his pocket. He snuck up behind Loki and shoved it into his mouth.

"OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THIS FOOD OF THE GODS?" Loki yelled chewing madly and looking around for more.

"That reindeer games, is a pop tart." Clint smugly stated before firing up his jet pack and flying back home.

/\\/\/\

Steve ran upstairs and toward the closet Tony was in. Steve tanked open the door to see a limp Tony.

"No Tony, Don't die on me!" Steve yelled pounding on his chest.

"Not…..dead…asshole," Tony said before coughing violently and shakily getting up. "You…didn't….have to…..fucking taze…..me."

"Sorry I did not tell Bruce to do that."

"Well…..you're…still on…..the couch…for a month." Tony said before shakily walking back to his room to sleep. Steve chuckled and followed his boyfriend towards their room.

/\/\/\/

Clint landed in the lab where Bruce and Natasha were and gestured for them to follow him. Clint walked up the stairs, Bruce and Natasha in tow. They sat on the couch while Clint went to go get Tony and Steve. He came back with a happy Steve and a pissed of Tony.

"Why can't I get just a few minutes of sleep?" He whined.

"Shut up Stark." Natasha said positioning herself in front of the screen.

"I just got tazed!"

"By the way I'm sorry for that." Bruce stated sheepishly. Clint shushed them and pointed toward the screen.

_I am Christine Grady and this is Fox news. Today Thor of The Avengers and Loki have been spotted raiding all of the supermarkets of New York._ The picture showed a grocery store on fire and people screaming. _We have inside info that suggests that they are looking for pop tarts._ Tony stifled a laugh._ We have no evidence of this but please be careful in the supermarket today. _Everyone burst out laughing at the screen.

"So that's why you weren't following him." Natasha asked.

"yep."

"Well this is funny in all but I'm tired, and guys Steve is sleeping on the couch for a month so if you take pity on him you're sleeping in the sewers." Tony threatened before heading to his room.

"Is he pissed you didn't stop Bruce from tazing him?" Clint asked turning off the TV.

"Yep." Steve said before grabbing a blanket and making a bed on the couch. "Well night." Clint stifled a laugh and headed toward his room, Natasha doing the same. Bruce chuckled and headed to his lab.

**A/N: Ok if you guys have any ideas for this story please leave a review or Pm the idea if you would like me to write it. Thanks again for reading!**


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